


Songs Of You and Me

by tattooeddevil



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/tattooeddevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Jared and Tomo, told by the titles of their favorite songs (songs taken from a Radio 1 show where they played their fav songs)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Songs Of You and Me

_Closer To The Edge – 30STM_

He knows he’s been walking too close to the line lately. The line he cannot cross or he’ll be out of a job so fast he won’t know what hit him. Yet he doesn’t know how to stay away. Or maybe he does, but he can’t. He knows he can get what he wants too, if he pushes a little. But he can’t. He shouldn’t. But he does.

_Welcome To The Jungle – Guns ’n Roses_

It is everything he hoped for. Everything he wanted and needed, and more. Jared is hot and tight around him, writhing beneath him, begging for more and he gives it to him. And more. His head is screwed up with emotions and feelings, but right now nothing matters but Jared’s willing body and his release fast approaching.

_Electric Feel – MGMT_

The high is so high he doesn’t know if he’ll ever come back down. It is like lightening strikes him, ripping his orgasm from him with such force, his vision goes black. Vaguely he registers collapsing onto Jared’s fucked out body, his nerve endings sizzling with satisfaction.

_Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode_

His hands follow the arms of the body under him. One to the right, the other to the left. Cuffed at the wrists, linked to the bedposts. In a moment of clarity, he realizes he should uncuff Jared’s arms before they go numb and he rolls off Jared’s still heaving body. He smirks at the sight of the pale limbs spread out on the bed. Just for him.

_Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden_

It is like time slows down as Jared turns to his back to look up at him. Doubt sets in. He knew the consequences when he started this, but that doesn’t take away the dread settling in his stomach. He crashes down harder than he was lifted up earlier. But Jared will go easy on him, right? It isn’t like he raped him, Jared wanted this too! Yeah, keep telling himself that, but the look on Jared’s face tells him differently. The down is blacker than the light of the high.

_Bullet Proof – LaRoux_

He sees his mouth moving, but he can’t hear the sounds coming out of it. His way of dealing with things, he knows, but maybe he should be listening. Jared deserves that much. It’s not like he can fire himself from the band, now is it? He just doesn’t want to hear it. Confirmation of the dreadful thoughts running in his own mind. If he doesn’t hear what Jared is saying, it might not hurt as much.

_Icky Thump – The White Stripes_

‘What? Quit the band? How did that happen?’

He has no answer. Not one she will want to hear anyway. He is better off lying. And he’s already started, why stop now? It hurts though, to see the disbelief in her eyes, the slight panic of, “what do we do now” and the confusion. Confusion he feels too, believe it or not. He loves her, has no idea what drove him to fucking Jared in the first place, besides the urge to do so.

‘I don’t believe this!’

Neither does he.

_Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey_

She still loves him. She has to. If she doesn’t love him, then who does? Jared sure doesn’t. No call, no text, no nothing from him for days. She knows what really happened, of course she knows. But she cannot stop loving him, she has to still love him. Someone has to.

_D.A.N.C.E. – Justice_

The weed dulls the alcohol, but that little pink pill takes over everything he smoked and drank before that in five seconds flat. The lights flicker, the beat calling his name, the dance floor swelling and rolling, begging for him to join it. Promising to never leave, to never stop loving him, to make love to him. He just wants to forget and dance. Dance. Dance.

_Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division_

‘I can’t do this any more, Tomo. I am leaving. I know you love Jared, so stop shaking your head and admit it to yourself. I have. That is why I have to leave. Try and make this something positive, Tomo? Go over and tell him. Don’t make my leaving something bad. I am doing this because I love you and I want you to be happy. I love you.’

_Many Of Horror – Biffy Clyro_

Her words echo in his head as he stands on his doorstep. “Don’t make my leaving something bad.” He is trying, but fuck, he is scared. What if Jared laughs at him? Yells at him? Blames him? What if he slams the door in his face and tells him to never come back? What if Jared tells him he hates him for doing this to him? What if he refuses to talk to him? Bad scenario over bad scenario tumbling is his head and he staggers back from the door. He can’t do this.

_The New Pollution – Beck_

Fifteen butts on the floor, about to be joined by number sixteen. He is chain-smoking his way through his nerves, but it doesn’t seem to help one fucking bit. He is still nervous, sick to his stomach, but that might also be the cigarettes. The air around him is blue, smoke not drifting away from his spot under Jared and Shannon’s porch. He doesn’t know if they know he is out here, but he is not actively going to find out if he can help it. This spot if very fucking fine, thank you very much.

_Karma Police – Radiohead_

‘Hey Tomo, what are you doing here?’

Of course, he should have known someone would find him sooner or later. Karma is a bitch.

‘Hey Shan. Just smoking.’

Shannon lifts and eyebrow in question, but he feels no urge to elaborate at all.

‘You coming in?’

‘No.’

Shannon looks at him a little while longer before passing him and opening the front door to the house.

‘I’ll leave the door open in case you change your mind.’

_Human – Carpark North_

Out of all days, why is it so freaking cold today, the day he wants to spend chain smoking on Jared’s doorstep? He doesn’t want to go in, but he knows inside is so much warmer than outside. But he won’t damn it, Jared’s in there and he can’t face him just yet. Just a few more minutes.

_Panama – Van Halen_

‘You can come in you know, not going to bite.’

He almost breaks down in tears at the soft, gentle words. He doesn’t sound mad at all, like he expected. He hasn’t slammed the door shut, he hasn’t blamed him for anything yet and he hasn’t yelled at him yet. That’s a good sign right? But something inside him tells him he shouldn’t go in, stay outside where it is safe, no feelings to face, no accusing words to exchange. But Jared doesn’t sound accusing or angry or upset, so maybe he should go in, warm up and talk to him. Fucking decisions.

_Been Caught Stealin’ – Jane’s Addiction_

A warm hand closes around his and pulls him inside slowly. Reluctantly, he lets it.

‘You could have caught your death out there, standing in the cold for so long.’

Soft, but reprimanding at the same time.

‘Look at you, all shivering and shaking. Your fingers are freezing!’

He just looks down at the ground, whishing it would swallow him whole. He feels like a kid, caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

‘Here, sit down, let me get you some coffee or something, warm your hands up.’

And he’s gone again, just as fast as he came.

_Do You Know Your Enemy – Green Day_

The words Jared spoke that night come flooding back to him. He thought he blocked them out, never heard them even, but somehow they got stuck in his brain anyway. Words about band dynamics, never fucking inside the band, rules they had for a reason. He cringes at the memory of Jared’s apologetic, trembling voice. God, how he hates the band he loved so much right now. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t been in that god damned band…

_Rocket - Smashing Pumpkins_

Jared’s talking to him again and he is not listening again. He can’t hear the same words from Jared, that is not why he came here. But he can’t seem to move himself fast enough to stop Jared from repeating those hurtful words that he is sure he is saying. It is like he is moving in slow motion and Jared is moving at ten times his speed. He needs to stop him.

‘I love you.’

_Use Somebody – Kings Of Leon_

‘I love you too.’

Jared’s lips are on his, Jared’s hands are under his shirt. He is pushed back against the couch, Jared full length on top of him.

‘I love you too, you stupid asshole.’

And he is being kissed again. He is being undressed, lubed up and held steady as Jared lowers his hips over him. He is being loved.

‘God, I need this. Need you.’

_In This Light And On This Evening – The Editors_

His chest is heaving, his eyes closed, his fingers splayed in Jared’s lower back. He feels Jared pull back with a soft sigh and opens his eyes to find him staring down at him in the moonlight.

‘I’m glad you came.’

‘Me too.’

Nothing else needs saying. Well, that’s not entirely true, but right now nothing matters besides him and Jared, right here. He made her leaving not a bad thing.

_Hell’s Bells – ACDC_

It is morning when he opens his eyes next, the sun shining bright through the windows where they forgot to close the blinds. Jared’s snuggled up against him, plastered against his side, snoring softly. He remembers the day and what they, well the band, usually do on this day. He untangles himself from Jared as quietly as he can and reaches for his clothes. He needs to get the hell out of here as soon as he can.

_Song For Play – Block Party_

He is back on the porch, chain-smoking again. He didn’t make it far after leaving Jared on the couch, feeling like a royal bastard for doing that. But he can’t go back inside either, not after leaving Jared asleep on the couch like that. Fuck.

‘Hey Tome! You back?’

He meets Tim’s curious gaze with a quick headshake.

‘No, just… No.’

Tim raises his eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything. After a few seconds he shrugs and rings the doorbell, obviously reading his I-don’t-want-to-talk-mood.

_Monkey Gone To Heaven – The Pixies (sort of looking ahead at next part)_

The warm hand is back in his again, dragging him inside again. Fucking déjà-vu, but he doubts there’s gonna be sex involved this time too. He can’t meet Jared’s eyes once the door closes behind him and Jared corners him.

‘Please look at me?’

‘I can’t.’

Jared chuckles. He fucking chuckles!

‘What’s so funny?’

Jared’s hands close around his face, forcing him to look up and at Jared.

‘Didn’t you hear a thing I said yesterday, you big fucking stupid asshole?’

He shakes his head in confusion. Jared said the exact same words as he had after that night, he heard those loud and clear.

‘I’ll say it again then. I love you and I want you back. With me and the band.’

 

_Hurricane – 30STM_

Wait, what?

‘I don’t care about everything I said that night. We’ll deal when we have to. I want to be with you and that’s it.’

He stares. Just stares. Jared is offering him everything he wants. His job back, his friends back and himself. Yet he doesn’t know what to say. He wants to say yes, but he is so confused, so utterly upside down and inside out with everything that has been happening, that he can’t form a normal word in response. It isn’t until Jared drags him down to the basement studio and hands him a guitar that the hurricane in his head dies down.

‘Okay.’

_Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley_

It was perfect while it lasted. He had the best time of his life. And he hopes Jared did too. It had to end though, it couldn’t last. He doesn’t know if there is anything or anyone to blame, he only knows Jared’s not his anymore and he’s not Jared’s anymore. But they tried and it was perfect. Perfect while it lasted.


End file.
